My friend Kiki LOVED her dog, Button. She got a tattoo of a button on her foot for crying out loud and I’m not talking about a portrait of the dog, I mean an actual button, like on a shirt.

I personally thought the dog was fucking disgusting, he had long hair that was always in his face and it was always wet. Gross. He always wanted to be all over me and I didn’t want to lay a finger on him. One time, Kiki and I went out drinking and I stayed the night at her place. The next morning she had to go to work and she left me at her apartment with no car (before Lyft and Uber and no shot I was paying for a cab) and I was stuck there all day with the dog in my face. I was close to having a panic attack every time it jumped into bed with me. Don’t even get me started on her kissing him on the mouth. I didn’t understand her love for him but he also wasn’t my dog.

Ready for the plot twist? She gave that dog away to her mom because her boyfriend didn’t like him. He didn’t like the way he smelled, looked, jumped all over everything, occasionally went to the bathroom on the floor of their apartment. When she told me she gave the dog away I could not believe it. I was in total and complete shock.

I have always been an animal person, I had a cross eyed siamese cat named “Sweetcheeks” my entire life. She died when I was 18 and since then I’ve been animal free besides the animals that belonged to the people I’ve lived with. Just shy of 4 years ago, I was in a poker competition and SHOCKER, got out super early. There was an open tab for me at the bar, so I took advantage of that while simultaneously watching Animal Planet. I had been wanting to adopt a kitten for awhile but could I really take care of a cat? Did I have the time? Patience? Space? With a little liquid courage the answer was “yes”. I had my friend Cody pick me up and we went to Front Street where I ended up with a 3 legged black cat named Chuck…formally known as Onyx. Best sauced up decision I’ve ever made in my life.

When Kiki gave up Button, I had Chuck for over a year and I could not even imagine giving him up. I think I even said to her “If I had a man that wanted me to give up Chuck, I’d be like ‘There’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the way out!'”

FF to present day, I have a boyfriend who has hated cats his whole life and is allegedly allergic to them. Over time, he has gotten used to Chuck and even grown to like him. Sometimes I can hear him talking to Chuck from the other room, his go to line is “Chuck, come sit on my knee” which Chuck never does BTW. I thought everything was all good and we were one big happy family until about a week ago (Bobby Shmurda voice). Brett couldn’t sleep and he kept blaming it on jet lag and he finally came out and said he couldn’t sleep because of Chuck. The cat box is right next to my room so the first problem was that in the middle of the night, Brett could hear Chuck “raking around in his own shit” and then jumping into bed with us. He said it was “Vile”. Brett also didn’t grow up with any animals although he will argue that he had a pet fish. He suggested (demanded but he will read this and I want to be gentle on him) that we shut the door at night and lock chuck out.

Um, what? Anyone that has seen me around Chuck knows I am obsessed with him. He has been with me for years and I go so far as to have a nanny cam set up in my room so when I’m gone I can watch him. I talk to him, sing songs to him (ones I made up about him), and constantly kiss his cute little head. This might seem weird to people who don’t have animals, but just like my distain for Button, it might even seem weird and gross to people who do have animals. The point is, he is MY animal and I am extremely attached to him. There is no explaining it to any outsider. I told Brett there was no way we were locking him out and it created this huge debate (okay fight). My point was- his issue with the cat is a cleanliness thing, and the reality is, Chuck isn’t dragging actual shit into bed with us. Chuck sleeping at the foot of my bed next to me, shouldn’t be causing Brett sleepless nights. Another point I made was I can’t just lock him out, he will meow at the door all night and it will kill me, plus he doesn’t talk or understand English (at least I think, if he does he definitely hates Brett for trying to lock him out) so I can’t explain to him what is going on and why. Again, to people who don’t have animals, this probably sounds insane.

After some back and forth for a couple days, I started googling things like

“What do you do when your significant other hates your animal?”

I was mostly getting back advice for dog owners. So I got more specific,

“My boyfriend hates my cat, what do I do?”

There was really no advice or suggestions that fit my unique situation because Brett doesn’t actually hate Chuck, he just doesn’t want him in the bed with us at night. While cruising through the internet for things to blog about this evening, I came across an article about people anonymously sharing their stories about how their pet came between their relationship and even though Chuck is in no way shape or form breaking us up, I couldn’t help but chuckle at how relevant this was. Click HERE to see 19 times when a pet came between a relationship.

There are two types of people in this world, there are the Kiki’s and there are the Me’s. Oh and there are also the Sommer’s who have babies and care about their pets less. She’s my best friend and her yellow lab wears a T shirt.

Which kind of animal person are you and has your animal ever affected your dating life? Don’t you think Brett will eventually come around and be just as obsessed with Chuck as I am or is there no hope?